Alan had never felt he had done something wrong, though, for he was genuinely disappointed at his son’s choices in life. Alan had donated a sum of $1,000, and Ezra had been disappointed in it for the rest of his life, making Alan feel that he was biased towards Shoshana only because their perspectives matched. Alan and Beth had visited the place and met with their son, who had sent them a set of instructions before their meeting and had also asked his father to make a contribution to the Yeshiva.
Around the same time, Ezra had gone to Israel to attend a Yeshiva as part of his serious pursuit of religion.
Alan recalled how he had readily and happily spent $40,000 a year on Shoshana’s medical school because he supported her radical-minded lifestyle. On the other hand, Shoshana did not care much for all this, like her father, and she grew up to be a therapist, again like her father.
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This distinction, he says, was more with regard to religious belief and free scientific thought, as both Beth and Ezra had strong beliefs in their faith, and this further built the uncomfortable barrier between them later. Through discussions with the dead friend, Alan talks about how he had always felt Ezra was more like his wife Beth, while their daughter Shoshana was more like him. Charlie, who is just another side of Alan’s own self, now questions this and brings up further events and situations that have made Alan and Ezra grow apart. Like always, the father had taken this as Ezra prioritizing his blind faith over love for his parents. This had made the son angry as he felt there was a snide judgemental tone in Alan’s use of the word “kosher,” but Alan never understood his anger. Charlie brings up an incident that repeatedly returns to Alan’s mind in which he had praised Ezra’s wife, saying that a steak she had prepared was the “best Kosher steak” he had ever had. Back to his dissociative conversations with his dead friend Charlie, the two men now discuss more internal feelings of Alan, particularly about his son. While Sam is out looking for a new therapist, Alan contemplates a sad ending for himself as he looks at the tube and sharpens the end by scraping it. Although Sam had most carefully placed the medicinal cream beside Alan’s bed before he had kidnapped the therapist, knowing that he would need it, times have changed since then. As he recalls and reminds himself how the note, he had hidden inside Elias’ body would most probably never be found, Alan also takes a close look at the empty tube of fungal foot cream. Alan has now lost hope of making it out alive from Sam’s captivity, and he makes this clear to his dissociative self, Charlie, as well.
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